When soulmates recognize one another and become a romantic couple, it can happen immediately and all-at-once, as if light streamed down from the heavens, or it can be a delayed a-ha. We actually knew one other and hung out in the same social circles for quite some time before that moment when we SAW one another as soulmates.
Finding your soulmate may not look like what you expect and it probably won’t occur in the way you think it “should.”
That can actually be part of the fun of discovering your soulmate! You may be surprised that the one with whom you share such an intense bond is so very different from what you imagined. The way that you feel when you two are together, however, may be exactly what you hoped for-- and more!
After that moment, and you maybe already know the moment we’re talking about...
After that moment when you SEE that you two are soulmates and you FEEL how deep the connection between you runs, you may experience a handful of other emotions too:
What?! Yes, the last two emotions on our list, “anxiety" and “worry," may be intermingled with the yummy stuff. Maybe you’re concerned that these good feelings and this wonderful connection you’ve discovered won’t last.
Perhaps, because of past relationships you’ve had, you don’t trust that any love relationship will survive. It seems to you that there’s a trajectory when it comes to love where it peaks and then (too quickly) fades and dies.
Because you are now with your soulmate, the stakes are higher. You know how precious this level of love can be and you want it to last.
After recognizing your soulmate and entering into a relationship with him or her, now what?!
Free yourself for soulmate love
Our first advice to you is to acknowledge the range of what’s going on for you. Don’t pretend that you’re only overjoyed if that’s not completely true! Allow any worries and fears to come up and move through you, because they’re not going to disappear on their own.
They’re there-- as are ALL of your emotions-- to bring your attention to something. That “something" could be residue from the past that needs to be healed so that you’ll be free to be fully present with your soulmate now.
Don’t let old wounds get in the way of creating (and sustaining) a soulmate relationship that will keep getting better and better. We know, it’s no fun to explore painful memories and we do NOT suggest that you re-immerse yourself in something that happened years ago.
But, do find ways to make completions with your past so you can really be with your soulmate now.[If you’re not yet with your soulmate, then a pile up of pain, regret, guilt or simply feeling broken could be the main reason why. Completions are a powerful tool to more quickly bring yourself into alignment with your soulmate.]
Completions are creative (or not so creative) ways you come to terms with disappointments and trauma from the past. These can be rituals or simple practices you do to heal and let go. Making completions may be a process you repeat a few times to bring about necessary healing to the layers of emotion you’ve got going on.
Here are two examples of completions that have been shared with us and some we’ve used in our own lives:
Release old relationships
You can do this by yourself or with your soulmate. Find a physical symbol of a past relationship you had that seems to still have a hold on you. Maybe you use that relationship as a point of comparison for what is going on now (or for what you think might happen in the future). It could be old letters, old wedding rings or even a drawing you create for this purpose.
Spend some time with whatever symbol you decide upon and invite yourself to feel gratitude for all that you’ve learned because of the past relationship. In a way that does no harm to others or the environment, let go of that symbol of your past relationship. This might include a bonfire or it could simply be giving that item away.
Break down boxes
Identify the ways that you have been “boxed” in. What are the limiting words you’ve used to put yourself down or that others have used to keep you feeling small and powerless? Get an empty cardboard box (any size is fine) and write those words on the box. Cover the box with the words that feel like obstacles to your happiness. If you have a fire pit, fireplace or safe space for an outdoor bonfire, carefully place the box in the fire. As you watch the box burn, imagine those words turning to ash and feel the limitations lift.
The most important thing about completions is that you come up with a symbolic action that means something to you and that helps you heal and clear yourself. There is not one “right” way to make a completion, so give yourself permission to experiment and find what is most helpful to you.
Keep questioning your stories
The more you free yourself to really be here now in your current relationship with your soulmate, the easier it will be to create and sustain happiness and connection that lasts. Without so much residue from the past clouding your view, you’ll be quicker to recognize when you’re telling yourself a story that is damaging to you (and your relationship).
The story might be that soulmates “have” to act in certain ways or it could be that if ______ doesn’t happen, you can’t be happy. Another story might be that “This won’t last." Limiting thoughts that you repeat to yourself again and again form stories and these can quickly become obstacles to passion and connection.
Even if they are not rooted in what’s true.
When you realize you’re stewing around in a story that’s got you anxious or upset, take three deep breaths and ask yourself the simple question, “What’s true now?” You can even use a process like Byron Katie’s “The Work” to guide yourself out of the story and back to what’s true in this moment.
What can be even more amazing than discovering your soulmate, is discovering new ways to deepen the passion, love and bond you share with one another.
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