Susie and Otto Collins, two of my favorite people and sometimes contributors to Soulmate Dance, have figured out a thing or two about communication and happy, healthy relationships including some magic words to stop fights, diffuse arguments, reduce disagreements, pull your partner closer, and keep your love thriving. Even better, these magic words are effective whether you are married, dating, looking, or just want to deepen all your relationships of every kind.
One of my own biggest relationship challenges has been figuring out what to say and how to say it, especially in heated moments. It can be so frustrating! I’ve read a lot, studied a lot, even taught a lot, and have all this rich information readily available….until it’s really needed. Then it flies right out of my head. Worse, my autopilot modes are uber defensiveness or Julia Sugarbaker directness. I love Julia, but channeling her in tense times is probably not my best approach.
Yet my own personal experience has proved that knowing what to say, how to say it, and even when to say it makes all the difference. Sure wish I had a cheat sheet!
Turns out, savvy couples use a relatively short list of effective words, phrases, and sentences that are guaranteed to create more harmony, lovingness, understanding, togetherness, and peacefulness. And all that leads to more passion. Now we’re talking!
Susie and Otto’s Magic Relationship Words gathers these words, phrases, and sentences into a practical and straightforward “how-to” book and audio program that gives you over 100 words, phrases, and sentence starters to help you say it well every time no matter what the situation. Having these jewels on the tip of your tongue takes away the worry about what to say and how to say it. They are like a key that opens conversation and generates listening between you and your partner instead of slamming shut the door of communication.
The words you use and how you say them, whether chosen or blurted, really matter. They have a huge impact, especially with someone you love. Consider this:
Words can heal or hurt.
Words can build trust or erode it.
Words can improve communication or destroy it.
Words can head off arguments or fuel them.
Words can eliminate jealousy or aggravate it.
Magic Relationship Words will guide you through what to say and how to say it to diffuse almost any situation. And when you start integrating them, you’ll reduce, or even eliminate, the possibility of either of you shutting down or blowing up. And the magic goes both ways – you’ll both feel more understood, more connected, and more loved.
These are true communication game-changers that can drive the quality and closeness of your intimate relationships as well as your other relationships.
For each word, phrase, or sentence, Susie and Otto discuss in detail why these specific words are particularly effective at defusing conflict and working through misunderstandings. They also offer detailed examples and case studies of how each phrase can be used to enhance communication.
Here’s one example:
When someone has hurt you, begin with "It may not have been your intention ________." You’re signaling that you are offering the benefit of the doubt and some wiggle room that he or she may not have meant to hurt you, while conveying that something they said or did actually cause hurt. It indicates you still believe in their general goodwill even though there has been a misunderstanding.
Personally, I am far less likely to react defensively if the conversation begins with, "It may not have been your intention to be unkind when you teased me in front of our friends, but the way you said it really did hurt my feelings," instead of saying, "Why do you always put me down in front of our friends?"
Several things are happening in that scenario: You are expressing your genuine feelings without resorting to accusatory “you” statements. You are avoiding getting sucked into attack mode. You are setting yourself free from the Blame Game. When has the Blame Game ever really made you feel better, made the other person feel better, or improved the situation? Never? I thought so.
Instead of making the other person wrong, you’ll learn how to be both more open and more vulnerable through expressing your own feelings. The result will be more compassion and understanding and less contention.
When I first heard about Magic Relationship Words, I thought they would just be words and phrases I already know. It’s true that some are familiar, but many were either new to me or presented in a new way with new examples
The words themselves are deceptively simple, yet it’s clear they have been meticulously chosen and tested with Susie and Otto’s friends, colleagues, and coaching clients. Through that analysis and testing, they have figured out what works best to soften and shift tense moments while developing an attitude that the two of you can overcome anything together.
Magic Relationship Words will teach you:
What to say when you need to make requests or set boundaries.
What to say to get your partner to listen in a way that makes you feel heard, understood, and respected.
What to say to increase passion and affectionate touching.
What to say when you really feel like lashing out or feel frustrated, angry, confused, or upset.
How to bring up negative, touchy, or difficult subjects so your partner doesn’t feel defensive.
The program provides a downloadable eBook with 101 words, phrases, and sentence starters plus two recordings and how-to instructions for getting the most from the program. The audios also include specific words designed to build or restore trust, the foundation of deep heart-centered, nourishing relationships that stand the test of time.
Susie and Otto recognize that the words they outline in this book can be used as weapons if your heart is closed off or spiteful or if you bring an attitude of judgement into your tone of voice or body language. But if you are willing to approach your darling with an open and responsive heart, then sincere and genuine words such as these can work their magic in helping you communicate better and connect more deeply. Susie and Otto will show you the way.
As with all good programs, Magic Relationship Words comes with a wealth of bonus goodies including:
Gift #1 – 21 Words, Phrases, and Sentences to NEVER Say to Your Partner, Spouse, or lover
Gift #2 – 10 Communication Mistakes Most People Make in Their Relationships and What They Can Do to Fix Them
Gift #3 – Free subscription to the Love and Relationship e-newsletter.
Sometimes it can be hard to know what to say, and at times I’ve been the poster child for saying the wrong thing. How about you? Are you ready to start learning a better way of communicating and how to say things that will help draw you closer? Maybe you’re ready and willing, but don’t know how to start. That's where this program can help. My personal choice was the Magic Relationship Words Gold Package that adds extra titles and bonuses for only a little more $$$. Well worth it.
By the way, the video on the order page lasts several minutes and I’m so glad I stuck around for each and every second. In true Susie and Otto form, they start off by giving a wealth of information even before you sign up for the course.
I highly recommend Magic Relationship Words if you are seeking richer deeper relationships and want to feel closer, defuse conflict, and understand each other more completely.
Disclaimer: This post contains partner links that compensate our company should you decide to purchase.
Anne Wade is the founder and publisher of The Soulmate Dance. She is a writer, educator, life coach, and lifelong student of soulmate relationships, devoted to expanding our understanding of all types of soulmate relationships and experiences.