5 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Finding Your Soulmate

5 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Finding Your Soulmate

Jodi Riley Mindset and Personal Growth 4 Comments

5 Ways You May Be Sabotaging Finding Your SoulmateLet’s face it, if you are single these days, at some point in time you have probably asked yourself “Am I doing something to sabotage my finding a soulmate?” If you recognize any of the habits in this article, the answer may be a resounding “YES!” But don’t worry, we’ve all done it and you can start newer and more productive habits right now. Do any of these ring a bell?

Holding on to a person that you need to let go of

Are you still pining for someone who is gone from your life and idealizing them as the “one”? If so, you may be hindering yourself from finding your next relationship. The best way to make room for someone new in your life is to let go of past relationships. If you are constantly revisiting the past and comparing everyone new to a past lover, you will inadvertently sabotage yourself. Do whatever it is that you need to do to put the past in the past. Think thoughts of your ideal mate and not of a past mate that did not pan out. Do a symbolic burning or donate mementos to charity. Make an effort to clear out the past to ready yourself for a better future.

Picking apart your new love interest

So you finally got past the beginning dating phase and now you are a couple. Yay! Let the picking begin! Or NOT. Are you creeping online waiting for your new love interest to mess up? Are you starting to focus on the little things that annoy you rather than focusing on the reasons why you fell for your new lover in the first place? If so, you may be picking your new relationship apart before it gets going. Place your focus on the things you love about the person and not on the things you dislike, otherwise your new lover will move on without you.

Being attached to a certain outcome with a certain person

Many times people come to me about a attracting a certain person as a soulmate. The problem usually winds up being that other person is not a good fit and the relationship does not materialize. If you have a certain outcome in mind with a certain person, but that person doesn’t feel the same way, you will block yourself from having a relationship with anyone else as you intently resist any outcome with anyone other than what you already have in mind. Focus on a more general outcome of having a soulmate relationship and what that will feel like. Don’t worry about putting a face to your soulmate, just focus on what being a relationship with one will feel like.

Creating a mate that is impossible to find

Have you narrowed down exactly who your perfect partner is to the way he parts his hair or the way she wrinkles her nose? If you find yourself being too picky and narrowly focused, you may be missing out on someone who is a fantastic match because you prejudged them on what football team they love. It is great to have preferences, but know the difference between a preference and a must have in terms of who you want to date. If your focus is so narrow that you aren’t finding anyone to date at all, you may be looking for someone who only exists in your fantasies.

Not being the person your soulmate will be attracted to

We have all heard that like attracts like. If you want to date someone who is open and honest, you must make sure you are open and honest as well. Check in with yourself and make sure you are the embodiment of that which you are trying to attract. If you are not like your soulmate, you will not attract him or her.




Comments 4

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    Great article, Jodi. We make the mistake of letting our ego search for our soulmate, when it is our soul that is attracting just the right people we need. SoulMates are not only called into our lives to be long-term romantic relationships. More often, they are called to deliver a lesson that our soul needs in order to evolve.

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    I don’t know how I missed these comments before! But thanks for the feedback. And yes these are what some would call common sense type ideas, but you would not believe the number of people I talk to who don’t really know them.

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    Great post Jodi! I love all of your tips! I would say that one other thing that has greatly helped me is truly knowing myself and what I want and need in my partner. As you said, not limiting ourselves with unrealistic ideals or expectations is a good thing, but staying true to your values, likes & dislikes helps in focusing in on the right partner and having your heart open to them when they come along.

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