Let’s face it, if you are single these days, at some point in time you have probably asked yourself “Am I doing something to sabotage my finding a soulmate?” If you recognize any of the habits in this article, the answer may be a resounding “YES!” But don’t worry, we’ve all done it and you can start newer and more productive habits right now. Do any of these ring a bell?
Holding on to a person that you need to let go of
Are you still pining for someone who is gone from your life and idealizing them as the “one”? If so, you may be hindering yourself from finding your next relationship. The best way to make room for someone new in your life is to let go of past relationships. If you are constantly revisiting the past and comparing everyone new to a past lover, you will inadvertently sabotage yourself. Do whatever it is that you need to do to put the past in the past. Think thoughts of your ideal mate and not of a past mate that did not pan out. Do a symbolic burning or donate mementos to charity. Make an effort to clear out the past to ready yourself for a better future.
Picking apart your new love interest
So you finally got past the beginning dating phase and now you are a couple. Yay! Let the picking begin! Or NOT. Are you creeping online waiting for your new love interest to mess up? Are you starting to focus on the little things that annoy you rather than focusing on the reasons why you fell for your new lover in the first place? If so, you may be picking your new relationship apart before it gets going. Place your focus on the things you love about the person and not on the things you dislike, otherwise your new lover will move on without you.
Being attached to a certain outcome with a certain person
Many times people come to me about a attracting a certain person as a soulmate. The problem usually winds up being that other person is not a good fit and the relationship does not materialize. If you have a certain outcome in mind with a certain person, but that person doesn’t feel the same way, you will block yourself from having a relationship with anyone else as you intently resist any outcome with anyone other than what you already have in mind. Focus on a more general outcome of having a soulmate relationship and what that will feel like. Don’t worry about putting a face to your soulmate, just focus on what being a relationship with one will feel like.
Creating a mate that is impossible to find
Have you narrowed down exactly who your perfect partner is to the way he parts his hair or the way she wrinkles her nose? If you find yourself being too picky and narrowly focused, you may be missing out on someone who is a fantastic match because you prejudged them on what football team they love. It is great to have preferences, but know the difference between a preference and a must have in terms of who you want to date. If your focus is so narrow that you aren’t finding anyone to date at all, you may be looking for someone who only exists in your fantasies.
Not being the person your soulmate will be attracted to
We have all heard that like attracts like. If you want to date someone who is open and honest, you must make sure you are open and honest as well. Check in with yourself and make sure you are the embodiment of that which you are trying to attract. If you are not like your soulmate, you will not attract him or her.
Jodi Riley, Dating and Happiness Mentor, is the founder of the 5 Steps for Better Living System and the host of the weekly dating and relating radio show MOD Love. To connect with her, visit www.jodiriley.com.