You never thought you’d find yourself here...in your 40s, 50s, 60s (or older) and alone.
Whether it was divorce, death of your spouse or simply because you’ve not yet met a partner right for you, at this time you are single-- and you’re not happy about that.
You always envisioned your mid-life and senior years as a time you’d spend with a companion, someone with whom you share a deep and abiding love. You’ve even dreamed of what it would be like to be married or in a long-term love relationship with your soulmate.
But mostly, you’re worried and wondering if you missed your chance to experience that kind of love.
The question that haunts you and won’t leave your mind is: “Am I too old for a soulmate relationship?”
Our answer is a big “NO,” except that it’s a bit more complicated than that. The reason why it’s complicated is NOT because you’re “past your prime” or “too old for passion.” It’s because of the stories you keep telling yourself.
What’s Your Story?
We all have stories. The stories we habitually tell ourselves spring from our perceptions of what we think is possible, realistic and even statistically likely and what we think is not possible, or even preposterous. Our stories tend to be rooted in the past-- what we’ve experienced, what we’ve seen happen to friends and family and what we’ve read or heard about in the media.
Your story may cause you to believe that passion, romance and love are for the young or that “at your age” you’re just going to keep declining until death. That’s just the way it is. You may not feel as vibrant and attractive as you used to which only strengthens your story.
And so you remain all alone and resigned to be unhappy about it.
Take heart, because we’ve got some new news for you...
1. Soulmates find each other at all ages.
You’ve probably read about couples who actually knew each other in high school but didn’t realize their connection and love until decades later. Accounts of people (who knew each other before or just met) discovering an amazing bond and love at midlife or later are abundant. Soulmates DO find each other, no matter how many years old they are!
2. It can take time for soulmates to be ready.
There is an intensity to a soulmate relationship that not everyone is ready for until a certain point in life. It could be that you have to go through certain life experiences to be open to what’s waiting for you.
3. Soulmates don’t usually look like what you expect.
Limited expectations can stand in the way of love (whether it’s soulmate love or not). Your soulmate may not look, sound, act or be what you have envisioned.
You simply won’t be in a place where you will recognize and welcome your soulmate into your life if you keep telling yourself the story that you’re “too old.” It’s time to stop taking your story about aging and your story about your chance at finding lasting love as fact and back up to question it.
The very best way to attract your soulmate is...
1. Question your story
Recognize it when you’re telling yourself things (even if you claim that you’re “joking”) that set yourself up for more loneliness and dissatisfaction. Teacher Byron Katie reminds us to, “Don’t believe everything you think.” These very simple words hold the key to you attracting the kind of knock-your-socks-off soulmate relationship you’ve been yearning for. Check out Katie’s process of inquiry called “The Work.”
2. Start having more fun.
Right now. Right here where you are-- even though it’s not exactly where you want to be-- invite yourself to enjoy your life and have more fun. Stop waiting and start doing the things that you truly like to do. Spend time with people you genuinely prefer to be around. Gravitate toward what helps you come alive, because it’s this mood, attitude and energy that will light you up and make it easier for you and your soulmate to find one another.