There seem to be quite a few misconceptions floating around about what it means to really be "happy." As the title of this article suggests, happiness is mostly about mindset NOT mood. It is impossible to think that people who are "happy" are always in a great, upbeat mood. In fact, part of being happy and content with your life is allowing those not so happy moods to be what they are and pass. Grief, sadness, anger, etc. are a part of our human spectrum of emotion and should not be denied or suppressed. It is in feeling these emotions and allowing them to pass that happy people maintain their happiness.
It sounds odd.
It may sound strange to say that in order to be happy you have to experience the sadness, heartbreak, anger and other less desirable emotions, but in some ways it's true. Our humanity, in its own beautiful way, provides us with the perfect opportunity to have contrast to those "happy" feelings so that we appreciate them even more. In short, unhappiness is not "bad", it's just contrast to allow us to experience more happiness.
Happy people are not always in a good mood.
Happy people have moods just like unhappy people do. The difference is that people who are generally happy, have a more positive outlook on life and know that the unhappiness will pass and life for them is over all "good". Happy people tend not to stay in the unhappy mood any longer than is necessary. Unhappy people on the other hand will stay longer with an undesirable mood. They tend not to feel as though they have a choice in how to feel and will stay unhappy until something happens to change their mood. Happy people look to themselves to alter the mood and unhappy people will look to outside sources.
Just because you have moods that are unpleasant does not mean you’re an unhappy person or that you’re depressed. You may just be experiencing a situational bout of sadness that will pass with time or a change in circumstance. However, if your sadness lasts for weeks or months on end and is not situational and does not seem to lift, you may need to visit your doctor to see if you may have other issues going on. Get to know yourself and your moods well enough to know what is normal for you and what is not. Then you can begin to work towards changing those unhappy moods and get back to living your life!
Jodi Riley, Dating and Happiness Mentor, is the founder of the 5 Steps for Better Living System and the host of the weekly dating and relating radio show MOD Love. To connect with her, visit www.jodiriley.com.