Reader Question: What happens when one soulmate is more spiritually awake than the other? When my girlfriend and I first met, we were on the same path. After we moved in together, she seemed to lose interest in her own seeking while I have continued. It’s getting harder and harder to feel connected. Can this be fixed?
This is a really important question.
The truth is that's always going to be the case because of the underlying soulmate mission of helping us awaken and remember who we really are. Seekers support each other, nurture each other, and allow each other to move at their own pace. Anything else is putting conditions on the love and then it’s no longer love.
So you have to ask yourself whether you are trying to hold on to a relationship that has already served its purpose and is ready to be released for the good of both of you. Not all soulmates are meant to spend the rest of this life together. That can be hard to accept when you genuinely love someone.
Release does not always mean breaking up, however. It may mean releasing your expectations of what your beloved’s awakening “should” look like. That is judgment on your part and not at all helpful in nurturing a soulmate connection.
If your beloved has really put the brakes on her awakening, she may be struggling with accepting the kind of unconditional love and support you are offering. Humans often have worthiness issues. It will be strengthening for your own development to learn how to continue at your pace while lovingly respecting her pace AND not being in her face about it. Release her to find her own way in her own time, offer intercessory prayer for her healing (if you know that is truly the desire of her heart), and let it unfold for her as it will. Don’t push. And as you share what’s happening with you, do it gently and possibly sparingly. Otherwise, she may receive it as judgment even if that is not your intent.
Keep in mind that whatever is happening is serving you both in some way. Focus more on what you are being offered through this experience than on what you think she should be receiving.
If the two of you want to remain together and you need to be the steady and steadfast one, do it softly, kindly, gently. Keep in mind that the other person ALWAYS has free will. Even if you think you know what is "best," you may just be projecting your own desires. You can't hold her hostage.
Most importantly of all, remember this: No one ever needs to be “fixed.” They are on their path and you are on yours. They are doing what they need to do, when they need to do it, in the way they need to do it. So are you. Everyone is doing the best they can from where they are and what they know right now, and where they are right now is something that changes every day even if you can’t see it.
Anne Wade is the founder and publisher of The Soulmate Dance. She is a writer, educator, life coach, and lifelong student of soulmate relationships, devoted to expanding our understanding of all types of soulmate relationships and experiences.