Folks often ask "When will I meet my soulmate?"
Sometimes, it's possible to look at them, listen to the underlying thoughts and beliefs of what they are saying, and tell whether meeting a Beloved is their true intent or still just a hopeful/hopeless dream. I can often "hear" whether they are clearing or inadvertently blocking, and can almost predict the likelihood of whether they will connect with a Beloved in the near future based on what they are believing/doing/being in that moment.
But here's the kicker - if something, perhaps our conversation, perhaps another, perhaps something they randomly read - triggers an emotional and spiritual growth spurt, they may make massive shifts in those thoughts and beliefs, habits and preferences, that have been limiting them unawares, thus changing everything about themselves and therefore everything about who and what they attract. Suddenly, they are capable of harmonizing with an entirely different sort of person which may not be the person they were "on course" to meet. And yet this “new” person is also The One.
We meet, and love, all sorts of people on our way back to Source. The Universe will not rob us of the awakening experiences our souls have chosen for themselves even to relieve our human suffering. Some souls even put themselves in the same situations, the same relationships over and over, because the wisdom received is so valuable. Perhaps a soul came here to learn unconditional love, so they put themselves into situations and relationships that challenge their ability to be loving. Others ricochet from one relationship to the next thinking that finding the "right" person will make everything all right. Eventually, they realize the Truth that the only "right" person is within, that changes and growth must come from within. The others, those on the outside, are teachers and guides, beloveds and part of our soul tribe, nudging us towards our birthright of Unconditional Love.
Perhaps the funniest and most heartbreaking aspect is the misguided belief that when you do meet a new Beloved, he/she is never exactly who you thought they were. As you get to know them, as they become more comfortable with you, they relax and reveal more of their human selves, flaws and all. Of course, it never seems to occur to you that you are also not who your Beloved thought. During the courting phase, however long it may last, our human self, our ego, always makes a massive effort to put our best self forward. There are those who would call it a lie and feel righteously deceived by the person they thought was their new perfect darling. Instead, that best self they each put forward is guiding them towards the person they truly are. Our best self is not someone we are "becoming." It is the embodiment of who we are as a soul, our truest guide towards our true best self. And our Beloveds, all of them, have shown up to nudge us on our way. Sometimes they act like sandpaper on fine wood, abrasively rubbing away the rough spots. Others, they gently nurture, cocooning us in a soft warm haven. Both perfectly light our way Home.
And where is Home? Human life is all about remembering. Much as Dorothy discovers through trial and tribulation that she always had the power to remember what is truly important and return home, so do we as humans slowly awaken to the truth of who we are and return to our natural state of Love, all the sweeter for having made our human pilgrimage. Souls hold deep admiration for the souls who brave the wilds of human life for they know they will face the greatest challenge - forgetting who you really are and where you are from. They know you volunteered to be thrown out into a virtual wilderness with total amnesia with a mission of finding your way home blind. They know the purpose of human life is remembering that you came from, and are, Unconditional Love. It’s almost as if your soul had become complacent in its acceptance of that birthright and chose an arduous challenge to both remember anew and clear its own complacent blockages. Souls know that when you become human, you will not even remember what unconditional love really is. They know human life is a quest to return to Source without any of the resources available in other realms. They know that souls come here for an immersion course, to wander in a wilderness of forgetment, in order to remember as if for the first time that we are and only can be Love. What challenge! What courage!
So you see, when we speak of meeting a soulmate, what we are really yearning for is our next soul guide bringing us home to Source. For much of our human incarnation, romantic love feels like the highest form of love available. It is for that reason we spend a lifetime seeking it or hiding from it. In seeking our mythical one soulmate, we are in reality seeking our own Oneness with Source. And our Beloveds, whether we have one romance for a lifetime or many, all lead our way home, perfectly imperfect in the challenges and awakenings they offer.
The future is always only probable, not rigidly predestined. Who we meet and why we meet them is always based on our own evolution. Any time you change a habit or let go of a belief or thought (especially a recurring one), you automatically change your possible outcomes, your probable future. Every time you put your best self forward and connect with someone new, then allow yourself to become transparent and vulnerable, you elevate your remembering and come closer to Home.
And your soul whispers, "It’s all good."
Anne Wade is the founder and publisher of The Soulmate Dance. She is a writer, educator, life coach, and lifelong student of soulmate relationships, devoted to expanding our understanding of all types of soulmate relationships and experiences.