Earlier this week, my husband shared an article with me entitled, “Why Bother With a Relationship If You Are On a Spiritual Path?” The title alone was thought-provoking, especially given my personal beliefs about soulmates. Were they two separate things or two sides of the same coin?
In our case, we’ve known from the moment we met that we are spiritual partners in every sense. Love at first sight felt more like “Ah, it’s you. I’ve known you all along.” We’ve watched in wonder as our spiritual growth has caught a new gear because of what we each bring into the mix. Our togetherness is usually cozy, but can also be uncomfortable. Either way, it feels like something we are co-creating, that we are in it together, and that we are evolving better together than either of us ever did alone.
Like the author, I’ve spent a lifetime as a spiritual seeker, sometimes consciously, sometimes blindly. Sometimes yearning to fit in, other times embracing my “otherness.” Until finally I surrendered. The seemingly easy pretty traditional relationship was not to be my lot in this life. Too many manmade rules and expectations that seemed more legal than loving. Even the road less traveled had become too populated. It was time to hack through the forest and forge my own trail. Only I didn’t really want to do it all by myself and keenly felt the presence of a fellow traveler I couldn’t yet see.
And I’m not alone. Relationships have been changing rapidly and dramatically over the last hundred years as more people seek a sacred partner or spiritual union, someone with whom to share a quest while each supports the growth of the other on their individual quests. There’s a yearning for discovering things in yourself together that you cannot see alone, of having a partner with whom to heal and awaken. There’s also a very real fear of getting lost within a conventional relationship, swamped by the personality and needs of the other or the rules of society, of losing the prospect to fully become one’s Self. “Provide, protect, and procreate” is no longer enough. We are acknowledging our deep desire for more.
The idea of spiritual partners is not new, though it may be newly moving into the mainstream. Spiritual partners go back to the dawn of creation. When souls were originally fashioned, they were neither masculine nor feminine. Instead, within each soul existed both masculine and feminine plus their spiritual union. The perfect first trinity. At some point, the trinity was lost. Souls separated themselves into masculine energy and feminine energy and have spent the rest of human existence seeking reunion. In a divine union, both partners have at least some understanding that the reason for spiritual connection and all of human life is this journey to awakening we all share.
I personally believe that all human connections are spiritual ones and everyone we meet - even the ones we meet in passing or don’t like so much - is a soulmate of one kind or another, dedicated to guiding us toward our ultimate reunion. (Check out The 4 Types of Soulmates for more thoughts on this.) With some, we will only share a few experiences, fleeting moments, then they will go their own way. True connection, however, can and does occur between two spiritually awakening beings. With all relationships, not just lovers, the bond reflects the consciousness of the people involved.
In modern cultures, certainly Western cultures, we have glorified a conflicting and stifling view of relationship. Romance and passion are hyped, yet also treated as a dirty little back room secret. Longevity is the goal, yet growth is frowned upon. Legal marriage, which began as protection for property giving little thought to love, ignores that a spiritual union could even exist.
It’s time to admit there is nothing satisfying about this model.
A spiritual relationship may not fit the conventional mold because it will mold itself to the awareness and intentions of the partners. To paraphrase the article, it is based on Being, acting from Consciousness and Acceptance, and celebrating individual expression. It may last all of this lifetime or may pass through to be resumed in another. Whatever it is, we need a collective shift in how we view relationships.
Do you need a relationship? Well, here’s the conundrum. We don’t need a relationship in order to grow, yet reunion with our original relationship is the purpose of human life. Perhaps the key is to break through the old rules and laws and insist on the freedom to create what our souls really yearn for. You’ll be a pioneer, but that’s how things change.
Anne Wade is Teacher, Writer, Mentor, and Coach for courageous women in midlife and beyond who want to disrupt their own status quo and design life on their own terms, even in turbulent times. She has developed the Becoming Found process of going within to find and address the inner barriers we have all inadvertently built up against love, happiness, health, wealth and any other desires of our hearts. Teaching women to unapologetically shine like a superstar and live their legacy is Anne’s mission. You can follow her on her Facebook page “Anne Wade – Becoming found” or join her “Becoming Found” Facebook group.