Today, we are addressing Part 2 of last week’s Soulmate Question.
Soulmate Question: I’ve been doing a lot of reading about attracting what I want. Part of the process is to get prepared to have what you are trying to attract. How do you prepare to meet a soulmate for a relationship?
This is truly a great question, one we all wrestle with when it comes to love and to life in general. Last week, we looked at Steps 1 - 5 of the 10 Steps for Preparing for Your Soulmate. This week, we’re looking at Steps 6 – 10.
- Stop Procrastinating – And That Means Now, not Tomorrow!
You know the old question – If you died tomorrow, what would be your greatest regret? What do you really want to do that you have been putting off? I knew a woman who had wanted to travel to Bali, but kept putting it off in hopes that she could share it with her Beloved when they finally met. Years went by. She finally decided to just go even though she was still single. Bet you can guess what happened. Yep, she met The One while on the trip! Go ahead. Start right now doing all those things you really want to do. You’ll be enjoying your life a lot more and meeting people who also enjoy their lives and enjoy doing some of the same things you do. You’ll be allowing yourself to be the person you really are which will call in someone attracted to who you really are. What are you waiting for?
- Take Responsibility for Your Life
Stop blaming your life and your circumstances on anyone or anything and that includes your family and childhood. They can’t make you do anything unless you let them. Take charge. Live by design, not be default. (Noticing a consistent theme here?)
When there’s no one left to blame but yourself, you’ll probably find yourself making different choices and doing different things. Those old habits were much easier when they were someone or something else’s fault, weren’t they? When you change the way you look at who is – and is not –responsible for your life, you’ll realize you were in charge all along. And that may be just the catapult you needed to dig deeper. Without the shield of blame to hide behind, you can be free to create your own happiness.
This is also a good time to mention free will. Taking responsibility for your life is about YOUR choices. It is not about imposing your choices on others. You can’t make someone love you and trying to is doomed to backfire. Take charge of your own life and let others take charge of theirs. Let the life you lead be your primary attractor factor.
- Don’t Complain
Don’t complain. Ever. About anything. And that goes for whining, venting, grumbling, criticizing, and all those other complaining clones. Oh, I can do it with the best of them and bet you can, too. But complaining does absolutely no good. Period. It doesn’t make you feel better, it just masks the problem for a moment distracting you from facing it, and it doesn’t improve the situation.
Any time you feel like complaining, take action instead. My mom was known as a world-class complainer. It finally got to the point where I said, “I’m not going to listen to you complain about the same old stuff unless you have taken at least one action to improve things.” Needless to say, that was not a popular gauntlet to throw down, but she did stop complaining so much, at least to me. She may have made changes or just redirected the complaining over onto my sister and brother, but that was then their issue to work out.
Analyze your complaints and criticisms. What can you do to improve things? There’s almost always something. Find it and do it. Then stop the whining. Remember, you are in charge now.
And if you are holding on to any unforgiveness, now is the time to address it. There are several great articles about forgiveness on the website:
- Create Your Own Luck
Seneca, the Roman philosopher, said, “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.” Creating your own luck is a summary, the result and reward of doing steps 1 through 8. Prepare yourself for whatever it is you desire by taking steps right now.
Take an inventory of your habits and hangouts. Are they in alignment with what you seek? If yes, nurture them. If no, change them. Ditto for your relationships. Invest more in the relationships that are in alignment with your preferred future. Let the others fall away or boldly (and kindly) terminate them. Clean up your own actions, relationships, and habits and watch your luck sprout. Who knows? With the way cleared, you might just “Get Lucky” in love as well!
- Start Now
We’re full circle back to Step 1. I promised we would talk more about that list. It’s actually going to be two lists and the synthesis of the two will become your personal road map.
The first list is all about you. The New You, the YOU you are becoming and deep down want to be. This is a list of all the qualities you want to possess, those qualities that you want to define who you are and how you are. This is your very own personal ideal YOU.
As soon as you have this list, don’t waste another moment. Start being that person right now, consciously, to the best of your ability. No more “Someday when….” for you! It’s who you already are even though you’ve been hiding it under other blame, excuses, and expectations. Come out into the light and be YOU. As Bob Dylan said, “Act the way you’d like to be and soon you’ll be the way you’d like to act.”
The second list has four deceptively simple steps. You’ll find more detail and a free download at the Soulmate Dance the website in the article titled How Did You Find Your Soulmate?
The 4 steps are:
- Make a list of all the qualities and characteristics you prefer in your Beloved.
- Make a second list of the qualities and characteristics the person you just described is likely looking for in their own Beloved. Putting yourself in his or her shoes and thinking about what’s in it for them is a crucial and often overlooked step in calling in your Beloved.
- Cross reference.
- Which of these qualities and characteristics do you already have? (Be honest!)
- Which ones match the list you made about yourself in List 1? Are any of the mismatches deal breakers?
- Is the list of what you think this person is looking for a good match for who you want to be? (If the answer is “No,” it’s time to reassess.)
- Get to work. This is where the magic happens. This is your roadmap for how exactly to do your own work in a way that is attractive to what you want in your love life.
By now, you’ve probably noticed that getting prepared is all about you – changing your habits, and thinking, beliefs. It’s not about looking for The One. It isn’t about making someone else change or making someone see that they are your soulmate. Nope. This is all about you. You are the only one who can make the changes that will open the door and invite love in.
Love is already looking for you. Are you ready to be found?
Did you miss Part 1? Get it HERE
Anne Wade is Teacher, Writer, Mentor, and Coach for courageous women in midlife and beyond who want to disrupt their own status quo and design life on their own terms, even in turbulent times. She has developed the Becoming Found process of going within to find and address the inner barriers we have all inadvertently built up against love, happiness, health, wealth and any other desires of our hearts. Teaching women to unapologetically shine like a superstar and live their legacy is Anne’s mission. You can follow her on her Facebook page “Anne Wade – Becoming found” or join her “Becoming Found” Facebook group.