“Oof, I overdid it!" These are commonly-uttered words of many people who have just returned from vacation. If you’ve ever been on a luxury cruise or taken a trip where you ate more sweet and rich foods than you usually do and exercised less than normal, you probably came home feeling rested and relaxed, but also feeling the need to get back to your healthier lifestyle.
Post-vacation, you may have started a new diet and fitness program to get your body back to as trim and fit as you like to be (and maybe even better than before).
The very same idea applies to your soulmate relationship. If you’re like most couples, you and your beloved have fallen into a few habits that are “weighing” you down and maybe even jeopardizing the health of your relationship. These hazardous habits take you two apart and cause conflict and unhappiness.
Isn’t it time to go on a LOVE DIET?!
The love diet is really very simple. Start to notice what it is you do that adds distance and disconnection to your relationship and then commit to doing things differently and stick with it. Cut out certain behaviors and replace them with others that will nourish and sustain trust, connection and passion.
Focus in on what YOU regularly contribute to your relationship and on what you’re going to change because that’s where your power is. Even though your partner probably has plenty of habits that could stand to change, start with you. (This doesn’t mean your partner is off the hook or that he or she isn’t playing a role, by the way.)
Put yourself on the Love Diet and watch what happens. You’ll most likely see positive changes in your partner’s habits too.
When you stop reacting in ways that inflame conflict or push your partner away, this offers a powerful example. There is no need for you to lecture or blame him or her. Your own changes will help establish a new normal and it’s likely that your partner will join in too.
You can ask your partner to join you on the Love Diet, but be sure to do so with an invitation. Guilt and manipulation are not positive motivators. Talk about how excited you are to return to loving, connecting and enjoying one another more. Come up with a plan to help make those things happen.
Love Diet Essentials:
• No blame
Blame will bloat your relationship, even if you don’t speak it out loud. Watch your thoughts and notice how frequently you make your partner “the problem” and the reason for disagreements, misunderstandings and how you feel.
Blameful thoughts will spill over in your tone of voice and word choice will block intimacy and passion. Remember, there is an important difference between blame and responsibility. Own your share of whatever happened and work with your partner to resolve a difficult situation so that you two can move forward. Together.
Chances are, you’re not as honest as you think you are. There are probably countless “little” ways that you regularly hedge about the truth or hide how you really feel and what you really want-- from your partner and yourself too.
Acknowledge the ways that you are dishonest with yourself and with your partner. Maybe you’re trying to please or keep the peace or perhaps you’re attempting to stay out of “trouble.” Be honest and open to keep your soulmate bond healthy and close.
A Love Diet won’t bring the desired results without genuine appreciation. If your relationship has been strained lately, this might take some time, so be patient. Invite yourself to find 3 things you can appreciate about your partner every day.
What is it that your partner does that you overlook that makes your life easier, more pleasant and richer? Find actions, physical attributes, personality characteristics and anything else you truly appreciate.
As you find 3 things to appreciate, pay attention to how it feels to be in a place of appreciation. Use words like, “I love the way you...” or “I smile when I think about your...” or “It really turns me on when you...” to communicate those delicious feelings to your soulmate.
Be on the lookout for improvements as you stick with the Love Diet. Notice them (even if they seem small) and celebrate how much closer you and your partner are becoming!
Susie and Otto Collins are married soul mates and on a mission to share that passion and spark don’t have to die, whether you’ve been together for 5 months or 50 years. As certified Transformative coaches, authors, and speakers, they are passionate about making this world a more loving place by helping people understand how life and love really work.
Since 1999, they’ve been teaching practical, easy ways to find and keep passion strong and alive throughout the years, how to communicate with love, openness and compassion even when it’s tough, how to stay connected even when life throws challenges your way and how to leave with grace.
Together, they are the authors of Magic Relationship Words, Stop Talking On Eggshells, Should You Stay or Should You Go, No More Jealousy, Relationship Trust Turnaround and many other programs.
Otto has just released his book about healing his relationship with his father called Preaching to Monkeys which can be found on Amazon.
For a free audio for fathers, sons, and the people who love them, go to ottocollins.com.
Get their free ebook Relationship Reverse Right Now at SusieandOtto.com.