In the frenzy of December is a place of deep quiet if we are willing to go there.
In that quiet, filters and shields can be lowered. It is safe to let in vulnerability and love. It is possible to see and feel the year that is winding down from a fresh perspective.
In that safe quiet place, we can weep for all that happened - and all that did not. Our grief is honored there.
In that safe quiet place, we can rejoice for all the change and growth that came in ways others might question, but we know to have been medicine for our souls.
In that safe quiet place, free from fear and judgment, we can bravely begin to accept and own our stories. All of them. Especially the ones we've been afraid to tell even to ourselves. We can stop clinging to the shame and fear that has silenced us.
December has long been my time to reflect. To look back at every moment of the year, even the less savory ones, until I can find some good and gratitude in it. Some moments are slow to reveal their good. Thankfully, December is patient.
This year, the reflection expanded to include my entire life.
In 2019, so many pieces of the story puzzle that is Anne shifted around and a new perspective came into play. Pieces and plotlines that had seemed to be missing showed themselves; they had been hiding in plain sight all along. With that new perspective, stories that had seemed to mean one thing revealed another.
What really happened was I finally allowed my stories to tell themselves their own way. Turns out, they had a very different perspective from the one I had been lugging around. And from that new perspective, what had once seemed hurtful became profoundly helpful.
There has been a soul curriculum at play in my life that has come to an end. It's graduation time - for me and for my work. No more hiding.
Will I tell all of my stories? Nope. You don't need to know them all, even though they'll be showing up in how I write and teach because they have all become stories of love. Love was looking for me all along.
Love is looking for all of us. Are we ready to be found?
I AM ready.